Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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