she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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