I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She announced her abortion via fbk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize