And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
