You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
