I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
