i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
