I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
