we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
