Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
