I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
