so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
