I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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