I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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