what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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