you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
be right there i have to get my cape
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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