Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
