office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
