she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
