Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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