Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
