help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
