I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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