OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
