Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My bed smells like the plague
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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