Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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