It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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