No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize