You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
