I think i peed on brittanys purse
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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