come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
