What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
