The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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