My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
