I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize