Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
