I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
