look no pants
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
