Just cropdusted the office
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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