i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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