Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
