Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
