dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
