U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
