did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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