We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize