the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
