Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
