Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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