Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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