Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
