remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
