thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
