I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
