please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
