She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize