How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
