That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
