I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
