she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
